Review: Lion and The Falcon

by Eve Langlais
Rating: 2/5

What’s a poor feline to do when trouble strikes from every direction? Find a pillow and a patch of sunlight for a relaxing nap, or realize that sometimes a lion needs to make new rules and show a stubborn falcon he’s more than just a handsome kitty? Avian Soaring Security has transferred Clarice to the Furry United Coalition so she can help track some escaped psycho patients. As if that weren’t bad enough, they partnered her with the very pampered Dr. Manners. Everything about the attractive feline annoys her, except for his flaming hot kisses. But is passion enough to keep a usually sparring species together? Nolan’s pedigree isn’t the only thing preventing him from falling for his sexy partner. She’s bossy, violent, rude and oh so intriguing to this curious cat, but his meddlesome mother will never allow him to get involved with a bird. But before he can decide if love is worth bucking pride tradition, he needs to stay out of the clutches of a demented ex-patient.

Well this is the fourth book in the Furry United Coalition, and I think that this series has just jumped the shark. What was cute in the first three books is no longer.

See the jokes about how FUC sounds like fuck are juvenile and they’ve been stretched to their breaking point, especially as this time around we have the Avian Soaring Society or ASS. And it’s not cute either. At one point Clarice says “ASS/FUC action” (geddit “ass fuck action”?) and I wanted to throw my laptop around.

But beyond that, the characters are unlikeable, Clarice is a bitch. A stone-cold one. And it takes way too long for her to behave in a way that makes you think she has redeeming qualities and really by the time I found out she was an orphan I just didn’t care. She was incredibly rude and demeaning to everyone from FUC, just because, even though in a liaison-style position you’d think she could keep her mouth shut on that stuff. She ignores things like being told Miranda is a good fighter because, um because! She refuses to believe that Nolan has his job because he’s a good doctor instead assuming he’s just a pretty face, and even when proven wrong takes way too long to change her mind.

Nolan never truly acts, it’s true that he’s a doctor and not a warrior, but he never seems to take any action to disprove what Clarice thinks. Nolan doesn’t ever fight as a human near Clarice, he gets knocked unconscious by two women who want to breed with him (no, really) leaving Clarice to save him. Which means all his protests of how he’s a skilled fighter ring false.

Nolan’s mother just reminds me of the O’Neills and Malone’s from Shelly Laurenston’s Pride series, except the Malones and O’Neills were more interesting that Nolan’s pride. Also the fact that his mother was sooo concerned that he reproduce was creepy as hell. Like almost to an incestuous level.

The actual plot behind the “villain” of the story was a thinly veiled excuse to put Clarice and Nolan in the same house and after the mastermind this version of an antagonist was weak. Where the mastermind was completely the over the top to funny, the patient going crazy and blaming doctors was a) pitiable because of what had happened to him and ultimately anti-climactic. Clarice “deduces” the location of patient’s hideout entirely off-screen and so fast it makes Nolan’s capture seem more ridiculous and unnecessary.

Anyway, this is the last FUC book I will read.

Currently Listening: Lanterns – Birds of Tokyo