Review: The Werewolf Prince and I

by Marian Tee
Rating:1/5

Broke, nerdy, and self-confessed wimp Misty Wall leads a ho-hum life as a Grammar Nazi intern, which of course earns her feelings of hate-at-first-sight from her colleagues at Ze Morgue, a.ka. Moretti Inc.'s Administration Department. Misty has always wished for something exciting to spice up her boring-with-a-capital-B existence, but she never thought it would come in the form of a gorgeous six-foot-plus billionaire. The world knows him as Domenico Moretti, the ruthless, cunning, and aloof CEO of Moretti, Inc, a.k.a. her boss. Gifts of (mis)fortune come in threes, they say, and it’s certainly the case with Misty, whose life is turned upside-down by Domenico Moretti’s three shocking revelations. One, he’s a werewolf (who’s also a prince). Two, he wants her in his bed – him, the guy who actually had to file a TRO against an obsessive supermodel. And three, he has a proposition she never – and she means never – ever sees coming.

I have a special loathing for this book. I wanted to DNF it at several points and only the unavoidable lack of ANYTHING else to read made me finish it. At no point was I able to immerse myself in it as it was either ridiculous, cliché or just dumb far too often.

This book was originally just a short story called “The Werewolf Prince Commands”, and if the author hadn’t told you at the start it wouldn’t be noticeable. Except for the sudden appearance of a dear diary entry at the start of every chapter. If you wanted to do that you could have added it in, as it is a new book it’s okay to re-edit old stuff.

So really, the best parts of this book are the cover and the summary. We get absolutely no explanation of my Domenico must have Misty as his bride except for something to do with reports on his employees which are most likely illegal and somehow manage to contain information that they really shouldn’t. Like Misty likes to run to clear her head (forgetting that she actually think/says she doesn’t run) and information about her foster mother and her’s thoughts. No PI can read thoughts.

So we start off by learning Misty is an unpaid intern. The grammar nazi of the summary? She’s a proofreader and copyeditor for crying out loud, which mysteriously makes everyone except the clueless superviser loathe her with the passion that is usually reserved for actual nazi’s. Which considering our only example of their work includes Fourteen being mispelled might be fair, I mean if anyone found out there are people that stupid working in the company they might be firing him. Misty goes to the library to eat and read because she’s perfect. Except Janice, someone who Misty works for is there giving a married man who also works for Moretti a blowjob. Oh, shit. I just realised except for the fact that William Grant is repulsive as a character this is eerily like Marked by PC Cast.

So instead of telling someone that Janice is using her work hours for very personal time Misty lets herself be intimidated into dropping it. Then she’s called up to Domenico’s office to get proposed to, except hilariously (it’s really not) she thinks Janice has gotten her fired. Which panics our poor Orphan Misty (yeah she’s an orphan and it’s tragically badly written and cliche at the same time) who needs the money from this job as her foster mother keeps adopting kids and refuses to do any work. Brangelina is actually name-dropped over this. Now this is the first of many times Misty forgets that she is actually an unpaid intern.

Domenico just flippin’ turns into a wolf in front of Misty without warning her, because the mysterious report told him she was open to the supernatural in another example of some telepathic PI’s which would be a way more interesting story. Misty because as a kid she liked the supernatural stuff just accepts the who werewolf thing. Oh and the proposition? Sooo obvious, I mean even a Harlequin Desire novel would blush at it. Misty like a dumbass despite her money troubles, refuses his money and offer to make the sham marriage appear to be a love match demands that he convince everyone he’s sexually attracted to her.

After a couple days at work, one after her job was given to William Grant’s wife to stop Janice being a bitch, the author clearly ran out ideas and dumps Misty in the Lycan, Lyccan, Lycan world. Yeah I don’t know if these Lycans are supposed to have a double c or not as it changes for absolutely no reason. Instead of being made an assistant she’s made a mail-room clerk. And doesn’t do anything about it, or the fact Domenico’s made it look like she’s a mistress not a fiancé. Until a hot young werewolf finds her on the roof (that she took the stairs to despite it being a 30-floor building and that she’s wearing three inch heels) and falls in lust with her. Yeah, all the women basically hate Misty because the plot says so here too, and all the men want her.

Renewed on her second day as a mail girl Misty manages to befriend to women, the only nice women in the story not a part of her or Domenico’s family. And surprise! When Domenico’s dick move happens and Misty’s at risk of being killed both those women turn out to be werewolf princesses who love her because she gave them pagetime. Also Domenico refuses to help Misty because of politics, and this is after he fell in “love” with her.

Then more boring stuff happens, Misty is awesome, Domenico is “hot and brooding” or what the author thinks is hot and broody. Some werewolf prince faked his death to become a faerie with his partner. No shit, a gay guy turned into a literal faerie and faked his death. Now even if that’s not homophobic and I’m certainly not the right person to tell, it leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

I loathe this because there are endless continuity errors that any decent friend or beta reader would have pointed out to Ms Tee. Misty uses made up swear words for no reason because she changes her mind later and actually uses cuss words. And unlike a fake cuss like fudge or frack, she says “shick” I kid you not. Plot threads are picked up and dropped for no reason. The story is clichéd badly, cliché’s can be great you can read a clichéd story and still enjoy it, but this is badly written and uses bad cliché’s. All the characters are cardboard cut-outs even Domenico and Misty. Oh and the diary entries that appear in “part two” when the new material appears? In the first Misty refers to her Diary as Di. All of them are just an excuse to show that Misty’s horny as hell and hot for Domenico and they are awkwardly written and uncomfortable to read. People don’t even think that way.

Dammit Domenico was supposed to be so sexy that a he had to get a restraining order on a supermodel. He was an ass and I would call him ugly on the inside if that wouldn't imply both that he has an inside and that he belongs on par with Lothaire. I was at my brother’s Christmas concert and this was the more boring thing.

This is also supposed to be the first in the “Moretti Werewolf” series. My advice: Run, far, far away from this book.

Currently Listening: Diamonds – Rihanna